Archive for June, 2009

The Gods at War

Posted in Uncategorized on June 23, 2009 by jbasedow4

Tonight I witnessed the greatest thunder storm I have ever been a part of. It was unbelievable. For about an hour there was a surreal calm over the town as the sun was setting and the clouds rolled in from the north and the south, at one point, I was playing volleyball with some friends and for 360 degrees around us there was lightning but no rain.

But oh, when the rain started, things got GOOD. For at least an hour, maybe more, we were hammered with rain and the sky was lit up as the sky put forth a light show beyond any I had seen. No joke, about a strike a second all around, every where. It reminded me of all those old legends about the gods going to war in the skies above us. I drove up to the mountains to one of my favorite lookouts by Horsetooth reservoir and just watched. The sky would get so bright that I could actually see the colors around me: the greens and browns of the hills across the lake, and the blue of the water beneath the hills. And of course, that beautiful blue-white that fades to purple as lightning sears through the clouds.

I heard once that a single lightning bolt could power New York City for a year. I was trying to grasp that as I watched bolt after bolt fly across the sky. The beauty that went hand in hand with the potential power of this storm was paralyzing. If God was using this to display His might and the devastation of His wrath, it was a perfect example. In fact, I was a little nervous. I posted earlier that I have been feeling a little off recently, more honestly, disconnected from God and many of those close to me. But the thought that hit me as I took this storm in up in the mountains was that if this is God’s wrath, it is no longer directed at me. I’ve been pulled back from the ledge that I threw myself off of and have been spared. This show wasn’t so that I would weep in terror, but so that I would more fully understand what God has withheld from me even though I was fully deserving. And in that same moment, what He has given when I was undeserving.

The beauty that really struck me was not just that I am not going to incur God’s wrath, but that I now am an heir in His kingdom. He was inviting me to enjoy the beauty of that storm as He directed each bolt in His grand symphony. My God is not a clock maker, we are not a set of dominoes that He set up and then sat back and watched as we each fall into our pre-ordained place. No, He is a creative God, delighting in His creation and interacting with it regularly.

I am part of that creation.
I am dearly loved.
I threw it away.
I settled for less.

He gave it back, and so much more.

I am in the process of being restored. I needed tonight though. I had been in such a funk that I had almost forgotten how to really just talk with Him. It’s funny but for me, tonight, a thunderstorm led to repentance.

Last note: there was a point when the storm had moved out east where I was able to get out of the car and breathe the fresh air around me as I watched the storm move away. There were bolts that stretched the length of Fort Collins high above the city. And bolts that stretched from the reservoir to Severance. Each with enough power to run New York City, man’s triumph of modern civilization, for a year. And God was just having fun out there. We’re in good hands.

A lot to think about

Posted in Uncategorized on June 19, 2009 by jbasedow4

I’m sorry I haven’t written very much recently.  It’s not that I’ve had nothing on my mind, it’s that I’ve had no resolution for it.  Honestly, going through this transition from college to not-college has been weirder than I thought it would be.  I’ve done a lot of things in the last 5 years, but through it all I was a student.  Now, that’s done.  What now?  Well, I know what I really feel called to do, but as of yet, I am not making money doing it.

So I need a job that will be flexible and let me pour into the things that will set me up to be the leader and worship pastor that I want to be.  It’ll take some work, but I do believe that it will happen.  But I am now a proud owner of a college degree, so what’s the problem?  Why do I feel like there’s a bit of a cloud here?

Well, I’m not entirely sure.  I wonder if maybe I’ve tried to grab a little too much control over my life.  Some people know exactly what they’re going to do with their lives, the steps are laid out before they even begin and they find joy in taking that path.  In fact, I really think that God works it that way for some people.  Why is my life different?  I’ve never been able to see the next step before me until it hits me in the shins.

I can only hope that it’s because God is trying to grow my ability to live by faith.  But that alternative scares me: that I’m really just kind of blind to a lot of the things that I think that I see.  I think I’m going to need a period of really humbling myself and prayer to get a handle on this.

So that I’m not a total downer today, I’m going to leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns that I’m singing at a wedding this weekend (Congratulations Ryan and Kelsie!):

        Come, thou Fount of every blessing, 
	tune my heart to sing thy grace; 
	streams of mercy, never ceasing, 
	call for songs of loudest praise. 
	Teach me some melodious sonnet, 
	sung by flaming tongues above. 
	Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, 
	mount of thy redeeming love. 

	Here I raise mine Ebenezer; 
	hither by thy help I'm come; 
	and I hope, by thy good pleasure, 
	safely to arrive at home. 
	Jesus sought me when a stranger, 
	wandering from the fold of God; 
	he, to rescue me from danger, 
	interposed his precious blood. 

        O to grace how great a debtor 
	daily I'm constrained to be! 
	Let thy goodness, like a fetter, 
	bind my wandering heart to thee. 
	Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, 
	prone to leave the God I love; 
	here's my heart, O take and seal it, 
	seal it for thy courts above.

The Sun Is Out

Posted in Uncategorized on June 12, 2009 by jbasedow4

I’ll take a break from my philosophical ponderings to point out that, for the first time in a while (which is weird for Colorado), the sun is out and shining bright.  Clouds are indeed rolling in, like they have for the last week or two, but nevertheless, it’s good to see the sun.  Summer, with all its life, fun, and adventures, may actually get here; instead of this rainy season that seems to come straight from Seattle.  It feels fresh and clean.  It feels good.

“And now I’m walking in the park,

And all of the birds they dance below me.

Maybe when things turn green again,

It will be good to say you know me.”

NYC – Marty Sampson

Posted in Uncategorized on June 7, 2009 by jbasedow4

I didn’t write this, I wish I did though. You should check out this album on iTunes.

I’ve seen all the adverts
Stared at all the billboards
Waited for the taxis
Ate your popcorn in movies

But only when i lost myself

I’ve walked through New York City
I’ve seen the ugly the pretty
The less fortunate and wealthy
But none can compare to you

I’ve jumped out to the ending
Been bleeding from wounds of nothing
I’ve listened and been ignored
Been hungry I’ve been bored
Been left out in the storm

But only when i lost myself
Is when I found you

I’ve been so many places
Seen too many faces
Heard too many cases
Of dreams without chasers… so

I’ve lost myself
And all my wealth
I broke my pride
I stepped aside
And threw away
The best of life
What I held dear
Achingly tight

To lose my lot
Ruin my life
To lose all else
To find myself
With you.

Something to think about

Posted in Uncategorized on June 4, 2009 by jbasedow4